Tell me about a time you gave difficult feedback to a peer.

Question

Accepted Answer

Interviewers check that you can be **direct and kind at once** — specific, private, and focused on behavior, not character. A useful frame is **Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI)**.

## How to approach it

```text
SBI FRAME
Situation → when/where it happened
Behavior  → the specific, observable action (not a label)
Impact    → the effect it had on the team or work
Then: ask for their view and agree on a change
```

## Worked example

```text
S: A teammate's code reviews were so blunt that juniors stopped opening PRs.
T: I wanted reviews to stay rigorous but not scare people off.
A: I spoke with him privately: "In yesterday's review, the comment 'this is
   wrong' (behavior) led the author to avoid posting today (impact)." I asked if
   he'd try phrasing suggestions as questions.
R: His tone softened, PR volume recovered, and code quality stayed high.
```

## Good vs weak

```text
✓ Private, specific, behavior-focused
✓ Two-way, not a lecture
✗ Vague ("you're too harsh")
✗ Public call-out or character attack
```

## Why it matters

Withholding feedback to be "nice" actually hurts people — they can't fix what they don't hear.

Focusing on behavior and impact keeps it from feeling like a personal attack, so it lands.

The ability to give hard feedback well is a prerequisite for ever leading a team.