How do you resolve conflict within your team?

Question

Accepted Answer

Address conflict **early, directly, and by getting to the underlying interests** — not by picking a side or hoping it fades. Most team conflict is healthy disagreement that turned personal because no one mediated it.

## How to approach it

```text
1. DON'T IGNORE IT — unaddressed conflict festers and spreads
2. UNDERSTAND each side separately and privately first
3. SEPARATE positions from interests
   Position: "We must use Kafka."  Interest: "I need reliable async processing."
4. BRING THEM TOGETHER on shared goals, with you facilitating
5. AGREE on a path + how to disagree better next time
```

## A script

> "You two clearly disagree on the queue design and it's getting tense. Let's get the facts on the table. Sam, walk me through your reasoning. Maya, then yours. We share the same goal — reliability — so let's decide on evidence, not volume."

## Pitfalls

- **Taking sides** based on who you like, not the facts.
- **Letting the loudest person win** by default.
- **Mediating in public**, which forces people to defend egos.

## Why it matters

How you handle conflict sets the tone for whether disagreement is safe.

Handled well, conflict produces better decisions; ignored, it poisons collaboration and drives people out.

Teams that can fight fair about ideas and stay friends are far more creative than teams that avoid all friction by staying quiet.